What it’s like to receive an MBE

Men in dresses and a wink

On the morning that the King’s New Year’s Honours list has been revealed (with some absolute chancers in there), I thought I’d share my experience of watching my mum receive her MBE back in 2014.

The Call

The day my mum received an invitation to Buckingham Palace I was down at my dad’s house. We were taking a walk through the countryside when my mum called my dad, not that unusual as they remain great friends, and I could hear through the muffled receiver that something was causing her voice to raise an octave. My dad stopped in his tracks, put his hand over the phone and asked me: “Have you and your brother photoshopped a letter from the Queen to play a prank on your mum?” It did sound like something we would do, pranking our mum being a favorite passtime of ours, but on this occasion I had no idea what he was talking about. “No” I responded, “Well in that case, your mum is being awarded an MBE!” he replied. Cue us both screaming in the middle of the woods like we were taking part in a Crimewatch reconstruction.

Back home in the midlands, the letter was sitting on the kitchen table. My mum was being awarded the MBE for her services to children and families. “Finally, I’m being given a medal for being your mother” mum quipped. My mum had worked for the government agency CAFCASS for many years. In her time there she took a child-first approach to her work, creating systems and practices that put the child at the centre of family breakdowns and ensuring their needs were of paramount importance. Her techniques were noticed by the then CEO Anthony Douglas CBE who implemented them across the agency and ultimately was the person responsible for recommending her for the MBE.

“An Accident of Birth”

My mum has never been a fan of the royal family. “It’s an accident of birth” she would always say, “whether you end up as a refugee or a king, it’s merely an accident of birth.” Her political views are very left wing and having an unelected family hoarding mounds of wealth having done nothing to earn it did not sit well with her. “If I was ever given an award by the Queen, I’d tell her where to go” she had said many times over the years. Yet here the invitation sat on the table. “So, will you be declining?” I asked, “Well,” she responded sheepishly, “It would be a good excuse to buy a new hat,” and, with that, the die was cast.

When we arrived at Buckingham Palace my mum was immediately separated from us and ushered into a room with the other honorees. My brother and I were escorted to an enormous red and gold state room where a full orchestra sat at the back playing majestically as we entered. Spotting two seats on the front row, we ran up the aisle like a couple of greyhounds and secured the perfect vantage point. As we were fizzing with anticipation my mum was apparently deep in conversation with fellow honoree Julia Sommerville OBE who was admiring my mum’s outfit. When the orchestra began to play the national anthem we all stood as Prince Charles (as he was then) entered the room along with some guards. Then the ceremony began.

The whole event is accompanied by music so you can’t hear anything being said which was a little disappointing if you’re nosy like me. We checked the programme, mum was way down the list. As we drifted from wonder to tedium my brother nudged me in the ribs and whispered  “Is it me or does that woman have a five o’clock shadow?” As I looked up I noticed a rather butch woman dressed in a demure skirt suit. Upon closer inspection we realised it was, in fact, Grayson Perry decked out in a very understated satin skirt suit, not his usual look, but sure enough there he was collecting his CBE. Hats off to him, that man can really walk in heels. Shortly after that, the orchestra went into a bombastic rendition of “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof and out came mum, looking tres chic in the aforementioned hat. If she was nervous, you couldn’t tell. Prince Charles spoke animatedly to her and she did say afterwards that they had “had some bants” which I find hard to believe.

After they spoke it is customary for the recipients to take three steps back and bow or curtsy. Now, I know she’s my mum, but she truly had the best curtsy of the day and, believe me, there were some shockers. All in all it was a magical day, seeing my mum receive the recognition she so rightly deserves was priceless. However, after three plus hours inside a stuffy palace we weren’t offered so much as a glass of water - sort it out Buckingham Palace you massive cheapskates! The highlight of the whole day however came at the very end when Prince Charles walked down the aisle to leave the room. As he passed my mum he winked. “Did he just..?” My brother asked, “I saw it too” I replied, “I told you,” said my mum, “we had bants.”

The MBE medal now lives in a drawer and she’s never put the photos up, but whenever I send a birthday card I’m always careful to address it to “Mum MBE” just to annoy her, though, secretly, I think she loves it.